They Can’t Lick Our Ice Cream

We’ve got the best damn alcoholic ice cream on the market, and they can’t lick it, in any sense of the word. We’ve got the best taste, the highest percent ABV, and, if you mean “lick” in the literal sense of the word, well, we’ve got vacuum-sealed containers to preserve freshness and ensure food safety.

dog licks ice cream cone arctic buzz

It’s the least we can do. Especially with incidents like those purported by the infamous ice cream licker.

If you’ve yet to get a taste of the cringe-worthy video of the ice cream licker yet, see below.

According to NBC news, the woman may face charges, but it’s at the discretion of the juvenile justice system.

Blue Bell Ice Cream, the company whose ice cream got straight-up licked, has taken to social media to address the issue, and they’ve removed all ice cream flavors from the store that may have been contaminated.

A lot of people have been asking us via our Facebook page if people are licking our ice cream, too. We’re here to settle it once and for all: no, they are not. They have not. They never will.

Our ice cream is the best, it’s vacuum-sealed, and it will get you buzzed. Just don’t eat so much of it that you go around wanting to lick ice cream that doesn’t belong to you. Even if it feels good.


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